The Trinity

MARK GRUETER

The Names: Mark G. On The Mike, Our In-house Ass Kicker, Vanity Man, The Internet Tough Guy, He Who Gravitates Towards Jews, The Siberian Stud, Da Publisher of Pieces in Pubs

How he feels about Christopher Hitchens:

Hitch’s anti-religion rap is a pose, which he carries on in order to sell more copies of his book.

On the Amount of Time he Spends Thinking/Writing/Reading about his former mentor: about 20 hours per week, but that’s a really rough estimate… it’s really hard to say exactly how much time I devote just to Hitchens.

On his Masturbation Facilitator: My copy of For the Sake of Argument is signed by Hitchens, “To Mark, with thanks and appreciation, 10-12-02″

What he says about himself:

According to New York’s leading psychiatrists, I’m perfectly normal.

I’d rather have Pat Buchanan as president than the ’secular’ Hillary Clinton.

As it happens, I’m a paid freelance writer and have written for many pubs including stop smiling, the moscow times, the modern drunkard and the exile, the final two of which are better and more popular magazines than anything Weiss has written for [a note: Michael Weiss is a sneaky New Yorker of predictable ethnicity. He betrayed The Siberian Stud, but, with the help of The Watch, the blood of Weiss will flow in the streets].

I am a nobody, haven’t you heard? But if someone wants to scrutinize my stuff they are more than willing to do so. Any self-respecting person shouldn’t mind being ‘put under the microscope’.

If you think I’m a bad writer, then I should tell you that you’re at odds with Mike Weiss himself, who in 2005, after inviting me to blog on his site, introduced me as a “terrific writer”. You’re also at odds with Hitchens who wrote of me as “brilliant” in the pages of the Atlantic.

Hell, certain of my posts on this site have been better than anything he’s ever written [emphasis added to emphasize just how bad ass Mark is and how much Weiss suuucks].

On the application of violence:

I think people who advocate war should be beaten up, literally, on the street.

The English are a rotting species, trying to latch on to America in order to preserve your sense of worth and ancient empire… Pull out of the UN, and let the Russians and Chinese kick your ass into the ground. I cannot wait for it… Russia, with my backing, will soon destroy your ass. [Regarding the previous He Who Gravitates Towards the Chosen confirmed: Those are fine words. I guess I'm supposed to back down from them or something. That's not going to happen - why? Because I believe in and stand by those words, that's why. You got a problem with that?]

I think you and Hitchens should die. Anyone who still belives the war in Iraq is a just war should placed into the most convenient electric chair available. [Regarding the above the as-yet-undiscovered jurno submitted: Those are fine words. I guess I'm supposed to back down from them or something. That's not going to happen - why? Because I believe in and stand by those words, that's why. You got a problem with that?]

An appropriate response [to threats of 'blackmail' from the Notorious Weiss] would be something in the neighborhood of physical violence. He deserves nothing less. …But, yes, if he ever got me mad enough and I bumped it him, I believe I would knock him down at least.

On Dariush’s ideas proposing the slaughter of the bestial Kurds: “Well, [those ideas were] interesting. [They were] coming from an angle I hadn’t heard before, so I welcome the new perspective.”

Since I don’t have the physical opportunity to hit you over the head, I’ve decided to give you the verbal equivalent of an ass-kicking: I have lived in Russia for almoost 3 years. Russia, with my backing, will soon destroy your ass.

I can’t promise anything in the nature of a physical fight if I saw one of [the writers at Jewcy.com]; it would all depend on how I’m feeling at that moment. But I’m pretty unpredictable and capable, as my friends will tell you, of doing practically anything.

On smashing the faces of fags in Russia: I never said they had it coming, but they were certainly asking for it. They were asking for a slap as westerners flying into Moscow to showboat in a public square without a permit. It’s just really obnoxious behavior and betrays a complete lack of respect for the culture and traditions of another people. Russian culture does not accept homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle.

On Jews:

[There is] something ’special about Jews. I personally gravitate toward them myself, both in love and hate, but not deliberately.

Politically and generally speaking, American Jews, can be placed into on of two categories: the Hollywood left consensus (Reiner, Spielberg, etc.), and the NYC/DC pro-Israel, neocon movement. In any case, to deny that Jews have a strikingly inordinate amount of influence over media, entertainment and politics in America is to deny a simple fact.

What is said about him:

Hitchens: Brilliant!

Weiss: A terrific writer!

You are, without a doubt, the biggest loooooser ever. Bad writer, no future, internet commenting hound and pathetic rejected-by-hitchens-so-stalk-him piece of garbage.

Quite possibly the only man ever exiled from Siberia.

Mark is the only person I know who has written his own riotously funny Wikipedia entry citing himself as an “authority” on P.G. Wodehouse [don't worry, the New York Ethnic Types can't shut us down.]

Oh, and Mark: Wikipedia has a “No Vanity” rule on nameless hacks looking to promote themselves and live out their grievances with ex-employers. Just giving you leg up on your next crusade against the all-powerful, repressive and corrupt forces of the universe.

I just your blog and your love letters to Hitchens (circa 2002). The only not negative thing one could really say is there weren’t too many grammar mistakes, and that try to make it through your stuff stimulates the coffee industry.

I’ve heard you talk about how Weiss called you “terrific” and Hitchens called you “brilliant” (exact words each time, so one assumes those were your only compliments from them, or you’d pull out some others) a few times. I imagine they call you a lot of other things, now for sure, and probably before.

And just look what happened now, Mark? Well, what happened? The volte-face [from Hitchens fanboy to Watcher, Resenter, and Hater] didn’t come slowly and over the years as the war in Iraq turned sour, you know. No. It came fast and hard within the last year as it became clearer and clearer that Hitch is going to marry Mike Weiss and not you. And then, utterly distraught and absolutely devastated, you find yourself in the arms of Sonic, Greywolf and [censored] What a tragedy!

All through the last one year, the quality of your prose seemed to be pretty mediocre to me, to be quite honest. I was surprised to find out you were a professional scribe once. Only recently, I got to peek at some of your pre-2003 ‘neo-con warmongering’ articles.

The image of Mark G jilted by Hitch for Weiss and falling into the arms of FGFM will stay with me for a long time.

GREYWOLF

The Names: Master of the Expository Sentence, The Photoshop Whizkid, The Howler, Canis Lupus, Devourer of Canis Lupus Zionwatchus, The GreyTruther, He Who Has a Sharp Eye for Things Jewish, The Mother of All Mother-fornicating Bestials

What He says about Himself:

On His New Grammer: I got all the individual words, letters and punctuation from elsewhere

On His Observational Powers of Humans, fellow and otherwise: I have considerable powers of observation concerning my fellow humans, and I’ve never met an adult yet who I judged wasn’t either consciously or subconsciously, knowingly or subliminally, overtly or covertly, directly or indirectly, subtly or aggressively, calmy or agitatedly, boastfully or shamefully, and drunkenly or soberly anti-Semitic in thought, word or deed.

On His Bourgeois Bona-fides: Jew-hatred? On this site? From me? Are you kidding? I’m an easy-going equal opportunity agnostic who can enjoy loving relationships and dine at upmarket resttaurants without embarrasing my companions, and unlike your bigoted, small-minded, sadomasochistic, misanthropic athiestic self. I’ve got nothing against people of any religion.

On His Hygienic Shortcomings: Even those of us who’ve done our best to clean up our act suffer from residual anti-Semitism. It is harder to clear up than dandruff.

On the Plot to Slander Him: When the conversation turns to anti-Semitism, my eyes glaze over. I mean, hands up if you’ve never been accused of being anti-Semitic?

What is said about Him:

seamus: Greywolf does have a sharp eye for things Jewish, and the urge to “insinuate” re his motives can at times be difficult to resist. But it’s worth resisting, if only to deny him the pleasure of condemning Semitism’s too vigilant (from his perspective) watchdogs.

What He says about His friends:

On Mel Gibson: He was speaking hyperbolically, as anybody can see… One would have to be pretty far gone into fantasy land to actually believe that ALL the wars in ALL the world were ALL started by THE Jews… An easier explanation for me to swallow is that Mel exaggerated, saying “all” when he meant “some” and possibly using the definite article before “Jews” to make it sound more sinister. But I’m willing to change my mind if and when more evidence comes along… What are Mel’s real beliefs about the Jews and how sincerely he holds them are questions we can only guess at at present.

On His ladyfriends: None of my chicks has ever said that Greywolf disappoints.

On Mike: I like the photo. Your a good looking lad.

On the Swimming Ability of Africans: For millions of years, our ancestors in old home Africa who ventured into rivers or lakes were routinely pursued and eaten by crocodiles. Hence there was strong selective pressure against venturing into water that drove human evolution away from aquatic pursuits. Later, when people migrated beyond Africa to lands free from crocodiles, the selective pressure on these emigrants to stay out of the water declined and they eventually evolved into superb swimmers easily capable of gaining certificates for swimming a length.

On His Appreciation of Jewish Culture: I can remember when Brick Avenue was mostly Jewish and was home to the 24-hour bakery that served the best bagels I’ve ever tasted.

What He says about his enemies:

On Montag: Nuked anybody from space lately? Or have you been too enGROSSed with your usual snuff movies and kiddy porn…Are you trying to make a serious comment or have you just run out of excrement in the U-bend and forced to scrape the scum floating in the septic tank?

On Steve Jobs: He is a Mac evangelist, in the sense that he likes to extol the virtues of that particular type of computer and encourage people to try it out.

On Hitchens: And at his age, talking about oral sex in public is beyond pathetic. Getting drunk and screaming abuse, even anti-Semitic abuse, is healthy behavior by comparison.

On exhibit z: And have you stopped beating your wife yet? …I’m sure you know quite a bit about blowjobs.

On Those Who Deserve to be Attacked by His Blog: We also rip the crap out of some people but thats the blogosphere thingy for you.

On Fascists: The Nazis, who originated in Geremany, loved using German words… NAZIs had this obsession with “rooting out” the Jews of Europe that in practice meant exterminating or annihilating them.

On The One in a Wheelchair: Steven Hawkin is a theortical physicist and cosmologist.

On Salman Rushdie: I was in the UK when the Satanic Verses came out. My mum read it all but I only managed to get a third of the way through.

On sHx: Either you are a non-native speaker who is incapable of sufficiently compehending English or else you are fraud. Personally I don’t give a shit which it is.

On Kurds: The Jews and Kurds are much more closely related to each other than either are to any other groups in the Middle East.

On Suckers: I did a small-scale survey of my own among US friends, associates and family members. Interestingly, I found a strong correlation between believing in creationism and believing the official 9/11 story. The survey was not statistically sound and the samples were too small and not balanced enough to provide reliable data, but the result intrigued me. It suggests that the folks who believe in evolution and also accept the US government’s official account of 9/11 are in a small minority.

On all of us: If you have an opinion, especially a political opinion, BY ALL MEANS please do try to analyze WHY you hold it, HOW you came to hold it, and WHETHER it has a reasonalble basis in fact.

What he says about Animals:

Pussy’s pussy. You watch those rear legs, now. They can give you a nasty kick.

SONIC

The Names: The Troglodite, Good Old Israel!, He Who Burrows Deep For Truth, s__onic , Devourer Of Worms, Benji

What He says about the world’s obsession with Him:

And another post about me? If you are happy making yourself into a laughing stock with this odd obsession that is, of course, up to you.

What He Says About His Friends:

On Gilad Atzmon: A Israeli born Jewish person who, because of his experiences in the IDF, has turned against and dares to criticize Zionism. (The so-called controversial quote: “We must begin to take the accusation that the Jewish people are trying to control the world very seriously. American Jewry makes any debate on whether the ‘Protocols of the elder of Zion’ is an authentic document or rather a forgery irrelevant. American Jews (in fact Zionists) do control the world.”⁾

What He says about Hitchens:

Nothing but the truth.

What others say about him:

Oliver Kammberg: Thick, racist, anti-semite.

Squid: Sonic, please press the permanent revolution button on your jacket in order to spin yourself out of complete fuckwit mode. The argument isn’t anti-Zionism, but acceptance and support of holocaust denial.

Harry’s Place Poster: Troll.

Harry’s Place Poster: I hope he sticks with [Hitchens Watch], thus setting an example for other extremely-frequent commenters who use… comments boxes as a forum for their views on every subject imaginable, rather than taking the trouble of starting or updating their own blogs.

Harry’s Place Poster: Sonic is truly laughable, mind.

Harry’s Place Poster: Troll.

Harry’s Place Poster: When Sonic has his back right up against the wall and so turns to a completely empty moral indignation as if it will somehow beam him away from the fair cop of only being concerned about Palestinians when Israel is involved.

Harry’s Place Poster: Sonicfrankster is a wankster from the ministry of delusions and smells.

Montag: Sonic, isn’t it about time you put up a “Kammwatch” site? I don’t see why Hitchens should enjoy a monopoly of your affections. You are quite deranged enough to stalk more than one person at a time, I reckon.

What Others Who Shall Never be Answered Ask About Him:

Would the person who posted this comment kindly confirm that he considers “daring to criticise Zionism” to be an accurate, adequate and full designation of the political stance of Gilad Atzmon? Then we’ll know what we’re dealing with.

Do you consider that a man who believes The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion accurately portrays the state of modern America is adequately described as “speaking out against Zionism” (or, in the formulation of Socialist Worker, uttering “fearless tirades against Zionism”)?

Let me therefore pose it again to ’sonic’. Do you believe that “daring to criticise Zionism” is a legitimate, apt and full description of the political stance of a man who claims that a notorious antisemitic forgery positing a global Jewish conspiracy in fact accurately anticipates the political arrangements of modern America? This is surely not a difficult question to answer, and still less an unreasonable one.

What he says about nearly everyone:

I know your i.p. address and you will be banned! [paraphrased]

What he says about His enemies:

On Michelle Malkin: Racist, wanna-be white.

On Saddam: BTW to be honest I find it difficult to support a defence of Saddam, it may be a horrible thought but I think he deserves the Mussolini treatment.