Dariush
The Trinity’s most vicious attack dog, who screams “Victory to Hezbollah and the future of Sharia in Lebanon!” at the very thought of Hitchens. Proud homophobe who likes to see house fags get their faces caved, especially if they set foot in his Beloved Mother Russia, whose name he shrieks like a Tourette sufferer. Desperately desires the “animal Kurds” to declare independence so the Turks can slaughter them then they can all go to hell. Particularly fond of singing “Omidvaram ke hameye heyvoon-haye Kordi, az dam, beran be jahannam.” to the tune of Imagine. The rumors about his sexuality are false, and were created by Mossad.
Hitchwatcher
One hand on the keyboard, the other on the binoculars and Carly on the turntable, HW, from his unfurnished apartment strewn with empty pizza boxes and back issues of Oui, diligently keeps an eye on the Popinjay through the shutters of his DC apartment.
Laurie From Brooklyn
Hitchwatch’s resident babe, she is the only female to have every clicked on the site.
Angrysoba
Prepeturally cheerfully and optomisitc about the eventual stringing up by a lamppost of Hitchens. Positive to the point of irritation.
Mark G
A budding Journo, ripens his clever sentences through hours of vigorous commenting on HW daily. Never said those house fags in Russia had it coming when they got their faces knocked in, but certainly said they were asking for it. Thinks seamus resembles a homicidal fried egg, but since he is too poor for plastic surgery we should just accept his face as is. Considers Dariush’s ideas proposing the slaughter of the bestial Kurds “well, interesting. [They were] coming from an angle I hadn’t heard before, so I welcome the new perspective.” Looks incredible in profile.
Leonine
A fifteen year old school person from the Ozarks. Gender not yet confirmed. Did not get its Hegel from Wikipedia, but rather from Answers.com. Knows more about history, politics, science, astrology, and trolling than you ever will.
What about me?